get more out of your relationships with others

The indirect way to impress another person is simply to be impressed by him. The more impressed you are — by who he is or what he has accomplished — the more impressed he will be by you.

Everyone you meet is carrying a heavy load. This is especially true in the area of self-esteem and self-confidence. Everyone grows up with the need to be praised and recognized. No matter how successful or how elevated people become, they still need to have their self-images reinforced.

There is a line that says, “I like you because of the way I feel about myself when I am with you.” This line contains the key to human relations. The happiest men and women are those who make other people feel good about themselves when they are with them.

When you go through life raising the self-esteem of others, opportunities will open up. And people will help you in ways you cannot now imagine. So take every opportunity to say and do things that make other people feel more valuable. Each time you express a kindness toward another person, your own self-esteem improves. Your own personality becomes more positive and healthy.

The way to raise the self-esteem of others is simply to make them feel important. Everything you do or say that makes another person feel more important boosts his self-esteem at the same time.

if you want to impress someone, the direct way to do it is to point out your admirable qualities and accomplishments. But talking about yourself usually makes you feel a little foolish. (And sometimes embarrassed.)

If you want to get someone interested in you, the direct way is to tell him all about yourself. But the indirect way works better. Simply become interested in him. The more interested you become in him, the more interested he will become in you.

If you want to be happy, the direct way is to do things that will make you happy. However, the most enjoyable and lasting form of happiness comes from making someone else happy. It’s the Law of Indirect Effort at work again. When you do or say anything that makes someone else happy, you feel happy yourself. You boost your own spirits, your own self-esteem.

How do you get another person to respect you? The best way is to respect him. When you demonstrate respect or admiration for another person, he feels respect and admiration for you. Sociologists call this the Principle of Reciprocity. When you do something nice for someone else, that person will want to reciprocate by doing something nice for you. (Most romances and friendships are based on this principle.)

How do you get a person to believe in you? The answer is to believe in him. By showing that you have confidence in him, he will have confidence in you too.

You get what you give. What you send out, you get back.










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